Why Leaders Need to Cut Themselves Some Slack (and How to Do It)

Raise your hand if you have a case of crisis fatigue. Let’s face it, who doesn’t? From the pandemic and economic distress through civil unrest, 2020 has served up an overwhelming amount of stress. Human beings are set up to handle temporary high-stress situations pretty well. It’s when they go on and on (and on) that we start to experience the effects of crisis fatigue.

For leaders, the responsibility to provide support, direction, and answers amid all this uncertainty adds an extra sense of pressure. As I’ve consulted with clients over the last few months, it’s become increasingly clear. We all need to cut ourselves some slack right now. But many leaders struggle with how to practice self-compassion while leading. Here’s a perspective on how to start.

Set your ego aside.

Navigating the current, rapidly changing situation requires businesses to be agile. For some of us, that means letting go of perfectionist tendencies and taking our ego out of the equation. Instead, we have to consciously shift our focus to decision-making based on the best available information and doing what’s right for the company without worrying about who’s going to get the credit or the blame.

As a leader, admitting you don’t have all the answers can be freeing. For your team, it can be empowering. I recommend actively practicing curiosity. Seek out information and expertise. Ask questions and solicit ideas. Gather input but recognize it’s not possible to have all the information you would like. Then, be decisive.

Your teams will respect your candor and interest in learning. They will follow you, not because they think you have everything figured out, but because they understand the decision-making process and the factors you’ve considered. They’ll feel empowered to take appropriate risks, innovate, and make decisions – which is exactly how you want your teams to respond in a crisis.

Related: How to get comfortable leading through uncertainty

Practice compassion with yourself and others.

Right now, you’re likely being asked to make tough decisions. For example, you may have to furlough some employees, pause popular initiatives, or shut down offices. Of course, you want to execute these decisions with empathy. The key is not to let your empathy stop you from making the tough calls.

This is where you need to recognize the difference between empathy and compassion – and practice both. Great leaders have the capacity to sense another person’s emotions and imagine what he or she might be thinking or feeling. That’s empathy, and it’s imperative as team members react to uncertainty and change, each in their own way and based on their unique situations.

Related: What the World Needs Now: Empathetic Leaders

The challenge with empathy is that it can be limited by our unconscious biases, making us feel stuck or frustrated by the problems of “others.” However, when we allow empathy to spark curiosity and compassion, we enable ourselves to take action. In other words, we listen, we understand, and we ask, “how can I help?”

By authentically asking the question and following through with support, we accomplish something that makes us, as human beings, feel good. While empathy without action can be draining in the long-term, helping someone find a solution triggers a hit of dopamine that provides a sense of well-being.

Another good thing about compassion is it’s a skill we can enhance through practice. A good first step is having compassion for yourself. As leaders, we must proactively manage our own stress in order to be able to assist others, especially when faced with a crisis. This means doing the fundamentals – getting enough sleep, maintaining good exercise habits, and taking regular breaks from work. It also means taking it up a notch – and not feeling guilty about it – when dealing with extended stress.

Take care.

With the events 2020 is throwing at us, we must take the time to actively pursue joy. Stop and listen to a favorite piece of music. Take a walk outside after a meeting. Carve out time to disconnect and meditate. Most importantly, let go of the self-criticism and obsessing about what you could have done better or differently.

When you cut yourself some slack as both a leader and a person, it’s not selfish. You can’t help others if you’re over-stressed or burned out. The ability to have genuine compassion for others comes from having compassion for ourselves.

If you’re looking to reduce the impact of crisis fatigue and enhance your leadership skills, I’m here to help. Contact me to explore how a mix of evidence-based tools and consultative resources can increase understanding and accelerate collaboration, especially during these uncertain times.